Salt Lake City, Day 1

Whenever I travel for work, I normally rent a compact car, which means I'm usually driving around in a Ford Focus or something similar. While I wouldn't buy one for myself, they're sort of fun to drive for a couple of days because they feel like go karts.

When I arrived in Salt Lake City last night, this was the exchange I had with the rental car agent:

Agent: You reserved a compact car.
Me: Yes, that's correct.
Agent: So that's like a Ford Focus.
Me: That's fine.
Agent: Ok, we're going to give you a Grand Marquis.
Me: ...what?
Agent: Do you know what that is?
Me: They still make those?

Apparently, this is what I get for all those cracks I made about the Mercury Cutlass. The driving experience is what I imagine Disney tram drivers must feel like, and I can now see why old people swerve in their lanes. If they're driving one of these babies, they just can't help it.

I really wasn't joking when I asked if the Grand Marquis was still a manufactured car, but when I got in, a lot of the controls were digital, which must mean someone, somewhere, still thinks it's a good idea to assemble this boat.

When I pulled up to the hotel turnaround, I could tell the valet was trying really hard not to laugh when he saw that it wasn't an old lady with a beehive driving. While I don't necessarily enjoy driving the car, the reactions it elicits is pretty great. My only regret is that I didn't blast some Neil Diamond while cruising the streets.