Taking Money From Idiots

I've given it a lot of thought, and I've decided that an easy way to make money in the Bay Area is to sell/repair car brakes. I've seen how people drive around here, and am certain that most people must go through brakes unusually quickly. My shop won't just be any ordinary place, labor will be charged based on driving competency and level of idiocy.

[Me]: Ma'am, it seems as you accelerate, then immediately brake, then repeat.
[Woman]: I just don't want to go too fast.
[Me]: Then accelerate only as much as you need to! I'm going to have to charge you double for labor.

[Me]: Sir, it seems as though you drive with your foot on both the brakes and the accelerator.
[Retard]: So?
[Me]: You're retarded. I'm charging you triple for labor!

[Me]: Sir, it doesn't seem like you've taken your M5 over 40mph.
[Tool]: I like to drive slowly.
[Me]: What a tool. You're paying for this month's rent and utilities.


See? Easy money. Who wants in?